In silence, I recalled the many phone conversations I had with Mama where she told me how much time she was spending writing prayers, editing, etc. In fact, when the Filipino Edition was being written, she asked me to help. I told her I didn’t have time but I said I will try to write one prayer. But I never got the chance to do it. I was in London during that time and I never really showed much interest about the book.
Anyways, I proudly showed my friend Mama’s name written at the back of the book. I also told my friend that I don’t particularly remember which prayers Mama wrote but I remember her telling me about one prayer – the Widow’s Prayer. A prayer that reflects the daily beatings of her heart. She must have truly suffered in silence when we lost Papa.
I searched for the ‘Prayer of a Widow’ and my whole body shivered when I saw that the prayer can be found on Page 215. Two-Fifteen –February 15 – the day Mama joined her Creator – the day when Papa welcomed her in the gates of heaven, the day when she is a Widow no more.
Must be coincidence, it doesn’t matter. Those little details, those little surprises keep my Mama’s presence always alive. Her witnessing continues, her being a mother to us continues and though the pain doesn’t go away, though I miss her everyday, though life will never be the same again, I find comfort that now she is no longer writing prayers, she is chatting with Jesus about the beatings of her heart and I know she is telling Him, ‘Look after my children because I love them very much especially Adnelle as she can be masungit and stubborn at times.’
I miss you very much, Mama. I still talk about you with my friends even those you have not met, even those you have not known. I want people to know how wonderful you are.